If I Only Had a Brain

While riding the elevator up to my office this morning, a guy I work with struck up a conversation. Wait - let me clarify. By "guy I work with", what I really mean is "venerable old man of the firm who is old enough to be my father and fancies himself Supreme Court nomination worthy, if only Presidents were in the habit of tapping commercial real estate attorneys to serve as Justices." Generally a nice person willing to lend a hand to newbies, just a little on the intellectually pretentious side, in my opinion.

Anyway, having not spoken to me much since my return to work in January, he comes out with, "So, how does it feel to be back and using your brain again?"

Uh, what? I was so shocked and appalled that I kinda found myself speechless searching for a proper response, knowing in that instant that this was probably one of those times where the perfect retort would strike me much, much later, well after the chance of it being of any use had passed. Is it just me, or did he in one seemingly innocent fell swoop manage to insult all women who've ever taken a maternity leave as well as all stay at home moms?

Okay, now granted, I was not thinking about bonds or easements or renewal rights or whatever on maternity leave. And granted, I think it's safe to say that anyone on maternity leave or who is a SAHM has days where she wants to turn off the Wiggles and get some adult interaction. So, fine, I have heard people make a nod to the idea that one uses the brain in different ways while caring for children than while in the office. But, geez! I'd like to see him survive a full day of childrearing and see if he still thinks it doesn't involve a lot of multi-tasking, quick thinking, problem solving skills. You could chalk it up to a poor choice of words on his part, (which ultimately I will), but we are pretty much in a business that's all about words and using them precisely.

But here's where it got comical to me: In my dumbfounded state, all I could reply was, "Well, it is hard to juggle it all." To which he started going on about how, "Oh yes, I don't know how you guys do it," etc. And then suddenly, as the elevator doors were closing behind another woman exiting the elevator, I realized and involuntarily announced, "Oh shoot. I think I just missed my floor." And then had to get off with him on his floor. Ugh. What an idiot I am! The man basically just accused me of having no brain, and then within the next minute, I did everything in my power to prove him correct! Arrrrgh.